Anchor Sara Sidner recently spoke about her stage 3 breast cancer diagnosis on her program. The link goes to the YouTube video of her statement and it is definitely worth your time. I was especially struck by the end of her announcement: “I have thanked cancer for choosing me. I’m learning that no matter what the hell we go through in life, that I am still madly in love with this life. And just being alive feels really different for me now. I am happier because I don’t stress about foolish little things that used to annoy me. And now, every single day that I breathe another breath, I can celebrate that I am still here with you.”
One of the reasons I was so struck by her announcement is that it resonated so strongly with my own experience. I am a physician who also received an aggressive cancer diagnosis. In 1990, a doctor told me that I had large cell lymphoma. I was in practice by myself. I had two kids starting cancer. I told the doctor, “I can’t play, I must know what this really means.” His response rattled me. He said, “You will be cured or dead in six months!”
Everything was different in an instant. Prior to his answer, I had one set of plans, hopes, dreams, and aspirations. In the next second all that changed. It took me a bit longer to arrive at Sara’s conclusion, but it is remarkably similar. I have said many times, “Cancer was the worst thing that ever happened to me, and the best thing that every happened to me.” As Sara said, “I am happier because I don’t stress about foolish little things.” I was just happy to be here with the people that I care about and enjoying the simple things in life—a blue sky, a beautiful flower, a soft breeze blowing through the pine trees.
Because I lived, I saw my sons graduate. I have met my grandsons and come to appreciate who they are becoming. I have lived 34 more years. I practiced for decades after my own diagnosis and helped many others through challenges of their own. I think I had more empathy and understanding for their problems. I have lived to see medical science advance to the point that we can all be healthier longer. What a gift! It is hard for me to have a bad day! If I ever start to think that way, it is easy to head off. I just tell myself “You should have been dead thirty years ago!”
It has been a couple of weeks since I heard Sara tell her story and I have noticed something else we have in common. I have watched her working since then, and you would never know about her struggle. I made two resolutions very early in my battle with cancer. “I am going to live each day as normally as I can. I am not going to die until I am dead.” Cancer is a terrible ordeal, but it can make your remaining days more precious to you. People who have a serious disease do better if they don’t let their illness define them.
What a beautiful story. I think we that work with patients at least a good portion of us have that human touch and we do make a difference in others lives. My heart is so full of patients who taught me things or made me more aware. I totally agree with this attitude of being thankful. I think the message here is we are all in this together and some of it is very painful however there is a lot of good. I am thankful for it all and cannot complain. So thankful for all the lessons and lives that are touched.
Beautifully said, William. I enjoy your wisdom and writing very much.